ALL ABOUT AIR

Air walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Why would you walk in when you're already here?"
And air said, "I like to get around."
"What will it be?" asked the bartender.  "The same thing you're having over there?"
Air looked over at itself in another part of the bar drinking a beer.
"No, I'd like something different," said air.  "I'll have--"
But then the wind blew through an open window, and air was gone.
And the bartender said, "Thank God that the wind in this joke was not strong enough to blow away my bar!"



"I can get high without you," said the air to the marijuana.



Where does air sleep?



If air is a gaseous mixture, then how come it never farts?



An airhead walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What can I get you?"
The airhead said, "Ummmmmm . . . "
"A beer?  Juice?  A scotch and water?  What would you like?" said the bartender.
And the airhead said, "Ummmmmm . . . "
"Look," said the bartender, "you must have wanted a drink.  Why else would you walk into a bar?"
"A bar?" said the airhead.  "A bar?  I thought this was a place for meditation."



"What's the difference between air and space?"
"I don't know.  What?"
"Space is cleaner because it has a vacuum."



Where does air end?

ROCKS AND SKY

Do rocks die?

And what about the sky?

Does the sky die?

If rocks and the sky die, then where do their souls go?  Heaven?  Are there rocks and sky in Heaven?  Is there a separate Heaven just for the souls of rocks and the sky?

What if the rocks and sky were bad?  Would they go to Hell?  But how can rocks and the sky be bad?  What could they do other than being rocks and the sky?  Being what they are isn't bad.

What about their wills?  What would a rock and the sky leave?  To whom or what would they leave it?

I, Rock, being of sound mind and minerals, leave all my rockiness to the ground . . .  

I, Sky, being of sound mind and atmosphere, leave all my air to the clouds . . . 

We could survive with dead rocks.  Lots of people have dead rocks in their heads.  But a dead sky?  How will survive if the sky dies? 

MY BAD MEMORY

I have a bad memory.  I know that I am all right as long I as remember that I have a bad memory.  I would not be all right if I did not remember that my memory is bad.  So, I am okay if my memory is good when I remember that I have a bad memory.

 

I have a bad memory.  I know that I am all right as long I as remember that I have a bad memory.  I would not be all right if I did not remember that my memory is bad.  So, I am okay if my memory is good when I remember that I have a bad memory.

NEW PRODUCTS

Solar-Powered Dildoe

Hands-Free Air 

Microchips  (For people cutting back on junk food)

Stoned Rocks  (For your garden of pot)

Invisible Space  (To go with your hands-free air)

A Walking Saucer  (For aliens who fear flying)

Clothing That Never Needs Washing   (This is not new.  Our clothing is already like this, but we wash it for social and health reasons.)

A Dicless Dictionary  (Also known as a Tionary)

(A surprise ending)