ALL ABOUT AIR

Air walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Why would you walk in when you're already here?"
And air said, "I like to get around."
"What will it be?" asked the bartender.  "The same thing you're having over there?"
Air looked over at itself in another part of the bar drinking a beer.
"No, I'd like something different," said air.  "I'll have--"
But then the wind blew through an open window, and air was gone.
And the bartender said, "Thank God that the wind in this joke was not strong enough to blow away my bar!"



"I can get high without you," said the air to the marijuana.



Where does air sleep?



If air is a gaseous mixture, then how come it never farts?



An airhead walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What can I get you?"
The airhead said, "Ummmmmm . . . "
"A beer?  Juice?  A scotch and water?  What would you like?" said the bartender.
And the airhead said, "Ummmmmm . . . "
"Look," said the bartender, "you must have wanted a drink.  Why else would you walk into a bar?"
"A bar?" said the airhead.  "A bar?  I thought this was a place for meditation."



"What's the difference between air and space?"
"I don't know.  What?"
"Space is cleaner because it has a vacuum."



Where does air end?

HOLIDAYS YOU NEVER HEARD OF

JULY 7 - SPILL-YOUR-COFFEE DAY

July 7 is celebrated every year to remember those who have spilled their cups of coffee ever since coffee was invented.
To celebrate this day, one must spill one's coffee on July 7 at 11:00 a.m.


MARCH 9 - MONEY-DOES- NOT-MATTER DAY

People who have lots of money celebrate this day.  People with no money are too busy looking for food and shelter to celebrate.


FEBRUARY 30 - DOES-NOT-EXIST DAY

February 30 is celebrated every year by people who do not exist.


SEPTEMBER 18 - CIA DAY

On this day, commemorating the date the CIA was founded in 1947, people celebrate by overthrowing governments, and trying out drugs on family and friends. 


JANUARY 27 - OUT-OF-WORK DAY

Every January 27, people celebrate this day even if they are not out of work.  They begin their day by sleeping in, and then eventually get up an mope.  


AUGUST 23 - INTELLIGENT-BUM DAY

All the smart-asses in the world celebrate this day to the point that everyone else gets irritated.


(FLOATING HOLIDAY) - NOTHING DAY

People celebrate Nothing Day on any day of the year.  It is especially popular on Out-Of-Work Day, January 27.  On Nothing Day people contemplate the vacuum of space and how much dust it can hold before you have to empty the bag.