SHORT SHORT STORIES

Once upon a time there was the Number 2 who liked to do things twice.  
Once upon a time there was the Number 2 who liked to do things twice.
Once upon a time there was the Number 2 who liked to do things twice.
One day the Number 2 did something three times.  The other number 2's did not like this.  It frightened them.  They killed the Number 2 for doing something three times.

The End   The End

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Once upon a time there was a promise.  This promise broke after a bad fall.  All the king's horses and all the king's men could not fix the promise.  The promise thought its life was over, but soon found lots of work with politicians.  The promise remained broken happily ever after.

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Once upon a time there was an injured alien who said, "I don't belong in this blog.  I belong at the crash site in Roswell, New Mexico."

POOF!

He was gone.

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Once upon a time there was a bad memory.  I forget the rest of the story.

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Once upon The End

MY BAD MEMORY

I have a bad memory.  I know that I am all right as long I as remember that I have a bad memory.  I would not be all right if I did not remember that my memory is bad.  So, I am okay if my memory is good when I remember that I have a bad memory.

 

I have a bad memory.  I know that I am all right as long I as remember that I have a bad memory.  I would not be all right if I did not remember that my memory is bad.  So, I am okay if my memory is good when I remember that I have a bad memory.

RANDOM THOUGHTS . . .

Do I have too much time on my hands?  Why doesn't it come off with soap?

If there is a God, then why doesn't He or She or They or It or --
 (I forgot the rest of my question.)

Have you ever seen happiness --actual happiness -- for sale in a store or anywhere else?  Neither have I.  This explains why money can't buy happiness.

How come people will not steal movies from a DVD store because stealing is wrong, but think nothing of stealing movies off the Internet?

The sign in a store says, Open 7 Days A Week, but it does not say which days.

I must be getting old.  I let the good times roll and almost broke my leg.

I can't remember the name of the person who invented bad memories.

If there is a God, then why doesn't He or She or They or It make the world a better place by stopping me from blogging?

Time to wash my hands . . .

REASONS TO CELEBRATE

I celebrate today because I was not born in the year 1011!  If I was, then I'd be a thousand years old, and so slow to react to everything.  It would take me several hours to understand a joke, and another several hours to laugh -- if I had the energy to laugh at all.  How wonderful not to be a thousand years old.

I celebrate today because I am in no pain!   Nothing hurts!   No headache.  No cramps.  No sore muscles.  No sore joints.  And my left big toe is smiling.  What a great day!

I celebrate today because I am not a zombie!  I do not have to worry about eating brains.   I do not have to worry about covering up the smell of  my rotting dead flesh.  And I can walk as fast as I want to.

I celebrate today because I did not wet the bed!   How wonderful to awaken to sunlight, and dry sheets.

I celebrate today because my I.Q. is 3!  I thought that my  I.Q. was 1, but a test today shows that it is 3.  I am smarter than I thought.

I celebrate today because I can still remember that I have a bad memory!    Why should I worry about having a bad memory as long as I remember that my memory is bad?

I celebrate today because I am not a dangerous chemical!   I will not irritate your skin if  you touch me.    I may  irritate you with my exuberance.

I celebrate today because I'm not buying a lottery ticket.  They say,  "If you don't have a ticket, you can't win."   I say,  "If I don't have a ticket, I can't lose."

I celebrate today because . . .
just because!

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD . . .

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who can't count;
those who have bad memories . . . and I can't remember who the third kind are.