A PSYCHIC TOLD ME . . .

A psychic told me that one day I will die.  Should I believe her?  She has made right and wrong predictions.

Here are the predictions that came true:

• that spring would come after winter;
• that things would stay the same if they do not change;
• a picture is worth a thousand words;
• the Super Bowl would have one winner and one loser; and,
• that 2 + 2 = 5 to people poor at math.

Here are the predictions that did not come true:

• that Jesus Christ and Elvis Presley would return on July 20, 2014, and give a church service with rock music in Central Park;
• that American and Canadian governments would honor the treaties with Native Americans and First Nations;
• that feminist groups would invite comedian Bill Cosby to speak at their meetings;
• on March 17, 2015, Ireland would experience a severe earthquake revealing where St. Patrick hid the snakes; and,
• on March 23, 2015, Peter Pan and Harry Potter would hold a press conference announcing their engagement.

I will let you know whether her prediction about my death comes true.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

POETRY OLYMPICS

This summer come see which poems will take home gold medals during the Poetry Olympics.  Come see such poems as A Dream Within A Dream, Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening, The Charge Of The Light Brigade, I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud and others plus all 154 of Shakespeare's sonnets compete in various sports to see which ones are the best. 

July/August (Various times)

Story Stadium

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MOLECULE CELEBRATION!

Come celebrate Molecule culture with the following events:

Molecule Fashion

The Fartwong Museum explores the decorative techniques of Molecule clothing.   

May 4, 7pm

The Fartwong Museum

Introduction To Molecule Music

Hear the sounds of Molecules playing particle pianos, atomic accordions and electron echomuckers.

May 8, 7pm

Molecule Music Museum

Conversations With Dead Molecules

British psychic Bori B. Bagworm will go into a trance and contact the spirits of dead Molecules to see what they have to say.

May 12, 7pm

Seance Swimming Pool

(Bring a bathing suit)  

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 THE WRITERS SPEAK

Come hear the following writers, no one is reading, at the Literary Aardvark Auditorium:

Terry Tarrytoon

How To Be A Failure

June 4, 7pm

John J. Geranium

 The Life And Times of  Harry Houdini's Houseplants  

June 8, 7pm

Kelley Kay Kite

Flying With No Strings

June 12, 7pm

Gail Goofanza

The Idiot's Guide To Stupidity

June 16, 7pm

Kim Miracle

Frozen Hell

June 20, 7pm

Homer

Immortality In A Nutshell

June 31, 7pm

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FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THESE EVENTS GO TO 
www.doesgaryhavenothingbettertodo.com  

NEVER NURSES (An Anagram For "Seven Reruns")