GAMES NOT AT THE OLYMPICS

STARCHERY - Athletes compete using irons and starch to stiffen shirt collars and cuffs.



TRACK & TRAIN - Athletes compete by seeing who can stay on the tracks the longest with an approaching train.  (Many medals are awarded posthumously.)



BABBLEBALL - A babbbleball is tossed from player to player.  The player with the babble ball must talk excessively on various topics.



BOXING - Two teams of athletes attempt to capture each other and put each other in boxes.



HUBACK RIDING - Horses ride on the backs of men and women in Dressage, Show Jumping and Cross-Country Eventing.


  
RECYCLING - While riding bicycles backwards, cyclists recycle garbage left behind by spectators.  The cyclist who recycles the most garbage wins.



UNSYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - Teams of swimmers jump in the pool and do whatever they want.  The judges pick whatever team they want to win.



QUATROATHLON - Athletes swim for 1500 meters, cycle for 40 kilometers, run for 10 kilometers and then play computer games for 2 hours.  The winner of the Quatroathlon not only receives a gold medal, but gets to end a blog that may or may not be funny.  

 

COMING ATTRACTIONS

POETRY OLYMPICS

This summer come see which poems will take home gold medals during the Poetry Olympics.  Come see such poems as A Dream Within A Dream, Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening, The Charge Of The Light Brigade, I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud and others plus all 154 of Shakespeare's sonnets compete in various sports to see which ones are the best. 

July/August (Various times)

Story Stadium

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MOLECULE CELEBRATION!

Come celebrate Molecule culture with the following events:

Molecule Fashion

The Fartwong Museum explores the decorative techniques of Molecule clothing.   

May 4, 7pm

The Fartwong Museum

Introduction To Molecule Music

Hear the sounds of Molecules playing particle pianos, atomic accordions and electron echomuckers.

May 8, 7pm

Molecule Music Museum

Conversations With Dead Molecules

British psychic Bori B. Bagworm will go into a trance and contact the spirits of dead Molecules to see what they have to say.

May 12, 7pm

Seance Swimming Pool

(Bring a bathing suit)  

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 THE WRITERS SPEAK

Come hear the following writers, no one is reading, at the Literary Aardvark Auditorium:

Terry Tarrytoon

How To Be A Failure

June 4, 7pm

John J. Geranium

 The Life And Times of  Harry Houdini's Houseplants  

June 8, 7pm

Kelley Kay Kite

Flying With No Strings

June 12, 7pm

Gail Goofanza

The Idiot's Guide To Stupidity

June 16, 7pm

Kim Miracle

Frozen Hell

June 20, 7pm

Homer

Immortality In A Nutshell

June 31, 7pm

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FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THESE EVENTS GO TO 
www.doesgaryhavenothingbettertodo.com