STARCHERY - Athletes compete using irons and starch to stiffen shirt collars and cuffs.
TRACK & TRAIN - Athletes compete by seeing who can stay on the tracks the longest with an approaching train. (Many medals are awarded posthumously.)
BABBLEBALL - A babbbleball is tossed from player to player. The player with the babble ball must talk excessively on various topics.
BOXING - Two teams of athletes attempt to capture each other and put each other in boxes.
HUBACK RIDING - Horses ride on the backs of men and women in Dressage, Show Jumping and Cross-Country Eventing.
RECYCLING - While riding bicycles backwards, cyclists recycle garbage left behind by spectators. The cyclist who recycles the most garbage wins.
UNSYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - Teams of swimmers jump in the pool and do whatever they want. The judges pick whatever team they want to win.
QUATROATHLON - Athletes swim for 1500 meters, cycle for 40 kilometers, run for 10 kilometers and then play computer games for 2 hours. The winner of the Quatroathlon not only receives a gold medal, but gets to end a blog that may or may not be funny.
