GAMES NOT AT THE OLYMPICS

STARCHERY - Athletes compete using irons and starch to stiffen shirt collars and cuffs.



TRACK & TRAIN - Athletes compete by seeing who can stay on the tracks the longest with an approaching train.  (Many medals are awarded posthumously.)



BABBLEBALL - A babbbleball is tossed from player to player.  The player with the babble ball must talk excessively on various topics.



BOXING - Two teams of athletes attempt to capture each other and put each other in boxes.



HUBACK RIDING - Horses ride on the backs of men and women in Dressage, Show Jumping and Cross-Country Eventing.


  
RECYCLING - While riding bicycles backwards, cyclists recycle garbage left behind by spectators.  The cyclist who recycles the most garbage wins.



UNSYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - Teams of swimmers jump in the pool and do whatever they want.  The judges pick whatever team they want to win.



QUATROATHLON - Athletes swim for 1500 meters, cycle for 40 kilometers, run for 10 kilometers and then play computer games for 2 hours.  The winner of the Quatroathlon not only receives a gold medal, but gets to end a blog that may or may not be funny.  

 

I'M SO LONELY . . .

How lonely are you? 

I'm so lonely, I have a party every time the mailman comes. 
 
I'm so lonely, I keep my library books late so the librarians will call me.
  
I'm so lonely, I look forward to traffic jams so I can meet people.
 
I'm so lonely, I party with the cockroaches in my place.
 
I'm so lonely, I look for lineups to stand in just to be with people.
 
I'm so lonely, I take my bicycle out to fancy restaurants.  (Most times they won't let my bicycle in because it's not wearing a tie.)
 
I'm so lonely, I buy myself gifts pretending someone else bought them.
 
I'm so lonely, I keep my garbage for company.
 
I'm so lonely I pay my friends to visit me.
 
I'm so lonely, I lose THE END just to talk to the people at Lost and Found.

FLYING SAUCERS AND A SQUIRREL