I'M SO LONELY . . .

How lonely are you? 

I'm so lonely, I have a party every time the mailman comes. 
 
I'm so lonely, I keep my library books late so the librarians will call me.
  
I'm so lonely, I look forward to traffic jams so I can meet people.
 
I'm so lonely, I party with the cockroaches in my place.
 
I'm so lonely, I look for lineups to stand in just to be with people.
 
I'm so lonely, I take my bicycle out to fancy restaurants.  (Most times they won't let my bicycle in because it's not wearing a tie.)
 
I'm so lonely, I buy myself gifts pretending someone else bought them.
 
I'm so lonely, I keep my garbage for company.
 
I'm so lonely I pay my friends to visit me.
 
I'm so lonely, I lose THE END just to talk to the people at Lost and Found.