I DON'T KNOW

There are many things that I don't know.  Here's a few of them:


I don't know whether the Chess Club will join with the Chest Club to play boobs on a board.


I don't know whether rug hookers will ever be arrested for prostitution.


I don't know whether the Knitting Club will knit warm knots for winter. 


I don't know whether The Repair Shop can fix my life.


I don't know whether Elmer the Elephant remembers that he borrowed 50 peanuts from me on June 31,1999.


I don't know whether a flower has ever said, "No!" to a bee.


I don't know whether dreams come true.  They may be incapable of having orgasms.


I don't know whether the sun gets a tan.


I don't know where I am going, but I hope I get there soon.


I don't know when to stop . . . Wait a minute, yes I do.

ON CRIME

A criminal walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"

"I've just escaped," says the criminal.  "Have you got anything that will reduce my sentence when they catch me?"

"I sure do," says the bartender.

The bartender serves him a martini garnished with arsenic.

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Q:  Why did the criminal cross the road?

A:  To steal a chicken.

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"Knock. Knock."

"Who's there?"

"A robber."

"A robber who?"

"Never mind and gimme your money!"

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Oh the poor robber!  He froze to death trying to rob a snowbank.

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BREAKING NEWS:  Toronto Police arrested and charged a writer with theft.  Police said that Sam Scribbler was at the public library stealing ideas.  Scribbler will appear in court on June 31.

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PETER PAN'S SHADOW JAILED FOR DESERTION!

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The judge says to the criminal, "Have you got anything to say before I sentence you?"

"Yes," says the criminal.

"What would you like to say?"

"I love action.  If you're gonna sentence me, then could you make me a predicate?"

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