ON DREAMS

"Why did the dream cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"To come true on the other side." 



Does money dream of having lots of people?


"How many dreams does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know."
"Just one, but the light bulb will forget being changed."



"I dream of the day when I can go more places than up and down," said the elevator.



Do bicycles dream to be free from their chains?



A mountain woke up from a dream about being a molehill and thought, "No big deal."



Do puzzles understand their dreams?



Does Death ever dream it lived?



A dream walked in to a bar and the bartender said, "I know you from somewhere."
And the dream said, "Yeah, you had me last night."
"So I did," said the bartender.  "Am I still dreaming?"
And the dream said, "I hope you're rowing your boat gently."

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS . . .

MY MANY LOVES

I have had many relationships and not all of them were with people . . . 

I once fell in love with a committee, and it is still trying to decide whether to return my love.

I once fell in love with a mountain that did not love me.  It took me a long time to get over it.

I was once in love with a street.  It broke up with me because I crossed it.

I once fell in love with a restraining order, but it forbade me from seeing it.

I once fell in love with anonymous sources, and never found out who they were.

I once had a relationship with humor, but you can see that it left me.

MY LIFE AS A KAYAK or RANDOM THOUGHTS ON A PIECE OF PAPER

Would you buy meat from a butcher named Jack Ripper?

I had a dream that I was a mountain on a golf course.  Everyone hated me.

A true Canadian dog barks in English and French.

I put my money where my mouth is and discovered that money is not as good as food.

A cutting board will not protect you from ultra violet light.

Has anyone ever been attacked by a shark while surfing the Internet?

People eat rye bread.  Philosophers eat why bread.

 

WORDS FROM A WISE OLD MOUNTAIN

A wise old mountain once said, "Some people will walk all over you just to get to the top."