QUESTIONS ABOUT HEALTH

Do fish take human-oil supplements?

Is it true that heart attacks hate healthy diets and exercise?

Is yoga the yellow part of a Vedic egg?

Is there such a thing as ugly sleep?

Would you be healthy if your caca smelled like perfume?

Can you lose weight by cutting off your head?

Does death relieve stress?

HOW COME THIS BLOG ENTRY HAS NO TITLE?

Is McDonald's owned by self-hating cows?


Why doesn't the church rent out miracles?


Why don't university diplomas come with parking spaces.  You may never use the knowledge that got you the diploma, but you can always use a parking space.


Does chocolate ever get depressed and crave women?


What does a couch do for exercise?


Do fish go back to school?


Does this blog, with no title, have an ending?  

WHAT DO I KNOW?

What do I know about restaurants?  I always thought that Dairy Queen was a cross-dressing milk farmer.

 I always thought that McDonald's was the home of E, I, E, I, and O.

 I always thought that Starbucks was money from space.


What do I know about books?  I always thought that a library was a place for lies.

I always thought that Nancy Drew was something Nancy did.

I always thought that Shakespeare was an activity for angry savages.


What do I know about exercise?  I always thought that pushups and situps were divisions of U.P.S.

I always thought that yoga was the yellow part of of egg.

I always thought that jogging had something to do with cutting down trees.


What do I know? 

HEALTH TIPS FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO LIVE NOW

Don't meditate.  It's boring.  Keep yourself busy busy busy.  Get upset at whatever you can no matter how minor it is.  Expressing your feelings is good for you.  Never hold back.

Eat whatever you like.  It's all going to end up going down the drain eventually.  Why not enjoy it before it does?
  
Don't exercise.  Why make yourself all hot and sweaty when you can relax on the couch eating whatever you like.