THINGS I BOUGHT

I bought a best at Best Buy.  The best I bought, at Best Buy, was the best best I ever bought.

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You can guess what I bought at Staples.  I also bought a stapler so I could use what I bought at Staples.

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I bought a book of laws, at Loblaws, on the legal way to lob things.  A friend said that in doing so, I was throwing my money away.

Oh no!  Someone is lobbing questions!

Does Canadian Tire sell any tires made in Canada?

How come Walmart doesn't sell walls?

Was Dairy Queen started by a farmer who dressed in drag before milking his cows?

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WHAT DO I KNOW?

What do I know about restaurants?  I always thought that Dairy Queen was a cross-dressing milk farmer.

 I always thought that McDonald's was the home of E, I, E, I, and O.

 I always thought that Starbucks was money from space.


What do I know about books?  I always thought that a library was a place for lies.

I always thought that Nancy Drew was something Nancy did.

I always thought that Shakespeare was an activity for angry savages.


What do I know about exercise?  I always thought that pushups and situps were divisions of U.P.S.

I always thought that yoga was the yellow part of of egg.

I always thought that jogging had something to do with cutting down trees.


What do I know?