Questions About God

What sign is God?  Virgin?

  Where did God grow up?  Neverland?

 Did God go to school on other days besides Sundays?

   Does God really know everything?  What kind of exams would you give to find out whether God knows everything?

How many applied for Creator of the Universe before God got the job?  Is God in a union?  Does God get paid overtime for working for Eternity?

What does God do to relax?  Is God into meditation or yoga?  Does God play any sports?

Where does God vacation?  A Five-Star hotel in another universe?

 Does God wear makeup?  Has God had plastic surgery?  Has God ever won a beauty contest?

What does God do for fun?  Does God play dice with the universe?

Has God ever had a serious relationship? 

 Does God enjoy long walks along the beach?  

Does God have any pets?

What is God's favorite food?  Bananas?

Has God ever had a near-death experience?  If so, then who told God, "Go back. It's not your time."

Does God's Will have an executor?

Did God get an inferiority complex after creating human beings?

QUESTIONS ABOUT HEALTH

Do fish take human-oil supplements?

Is it true that heart attacks hate healthy diets and exercise?

Is yoga the yellow part of a Vedic egg?

Is there such a thing as ugly sleep?

Would you be healthy if your caca smelled like perfume?

Can you lose weight by cutting off your head?

Does death relieve stress?

WHAT DO I KNOW?

What do I know about restaurants?  I always thought that Dairy Queen was a cross-dressing milk farmer.

 I always thought that McDonald's was the home of E, I, E, I, and O.

 I always thought that Starbucks was money from space.


What do I know about books?  I always thought that a library was a place for lies.

I always thought that Nancy Drew was something Nancy did.

I always thought that Shakespeare was an activity for angry savages.


What do I know about exercise?  I always thought that pushups and situps were divisions of U.P.S.

I always thought that yoga was the yellow part of of egg.

I always thought that jogging had something to do with cutting down trees.


What do I know?