WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS . . .

What do you get when you cross . . . 

- A turtle with a house?
  A turtle with a huge shell, or a house that crawls.

- Donald Trump with Barack Obama?
  A confused presidential candidate.

- A street with your legs?
  The other side.

- A table with a chair?
   A spider.  (Salvador Dali told me this joke.  I don't get it.  Do you?)

- Climate change with money?
   Weather in your wallet.  

- A cross a cross with a question mark?
   A religion called Why?

-  A depressed bear with an ecstatic bear?
   A bipolar bear. 

- Null and void?

 

FOUR PICTURES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS

 

 



 

THINGS I NEVER UNDERSTOOD AS A CHILD AND STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND

My parents bought me a blazer for Sunday school.  My mother yelled at me for putting stuff in the front pockets.  "You're not supposed to put anything in those pockets.  They are just for show," she said.  What's the point of having pockets if you can't put anything in them?

They told me in Sunday school that Jesus died for my sins.  How could he have died for my sins when I wasn't alive two thousand years ago?

And that's the other thing.  They told me that Jesus did not die; that  he rose from the dead and is alive today.  So why did they tell me that he died for my sins when he did not die and is alive today?

If people close to us suffer from some life-threatening illness and are so close to death,  do we dwell on their suffering if they are cured?  No, we celebrate.  We enjoy our time with them and forget about their suffering.  So, why all the fuss and drama on Good Friday?  Why dwell on Jesus' suffering and death on the cross?  It's over!  He rose from the dead!  Why wait until Easter Sunday to celebrate?

If God is all-powerful, then how come He loses battles with Satan?

People have tried to explain all these things to me, but I still don't get it?

IRWIN THE CROSS-EYED AMOEBA

My spirit guide is a cross-eyed amoeba.  When I tell people this they say, "An amoeba does not have eyes." True, amoebas have no eyes while they are on the Earth plane. They are given crossed eyes once they cross over.  Why this happens no one knows.

Usually spirit guides appear as angels, nature spirits, Native Americans or animals.  Never before has a spirit guide appeared this way.  How special to be the first person to have a cross-eyed amoeba as a spirit guide!  I am grateful for Irwin's guidance.

When my cross-eyed spirit guide first appeared to me it said,  "You can double your happiness by looking at things differently."

Irwin before he crossed over.