I HOPE . . .

I hope God never contracts out the angels' jobs to a private company.  Can you imagine having to pay for the protection of guardian angels?


I hope my harp never becomes a harpy.


I hope cigarettes never get cancer.


I hope a head of cabbage never has a bad hair day.


I hope, after I die, that I come back as a beneficiary to my life insurance policy.


I hope I don't get dirty after I fall in love.


I hope The Pope can cope with priests who grope.


I hope The never divorces End.

BESTSELLERS AMONGST . . .

The following books are bestsellers, but only amongst the groups mentioned.

Bestseller amongst geese:

How To Keep Your Down When Everything Is Going Up  

by Harry Honk 

Amongst viruses:

Fifty Shades of Ebola 

by Diane Diagnose

Amongst Ku Klux Klan members:

A Brief History of White 

by Ray Cyst

Amongst brides:

How To Be A Virgin When You Ain't 

by Ida Impure

Amongst trains:

The Tracks of My Tears

by Loco Motif

Amongst ghosts:

Crime and Ectoplasm 

by Fyodor Ghostoyevsky

Amongst suicide bombers:

The Big Bang Theory

by G. Powder

Amongst endings:

Is It Really The End?

by Al L. Finn

IRWIN THE CROSS-EYED AMOEBA

My spirit guide is a cross-eyed amoeba.  When I tell people this they say, "An amoeba does not have eyes." True, amoebas have no eyes while they are on the Earth plane. They are given crossed eyes once they cross over.  Why this happens no one knows.

Usually spirit guides appear as angels, nature spirits, Native Americans or animals.  Never before has a spirit guide appeared this way.  How special to be the first person to have a cross-eyed amoeba as a spirit guide!  I am grateful for Irwin's guidance.

When my cross-eyed spirit guide first appeared to me it said,  "You can double your happiness by looking at things differently."

Irwin before he crossed over.