WHATEVER KILLS ME WILL MAKE ME STRONGER

Whatever kills me will make me stronger.  Ghosts are invincible.

Death will slow down my reaction time which means I will take longer to get upset.  The longer I take to get upset, the longer it takes to upset me.  The longer it takes to upset me, the less chance I have of bothering to get upset.

Death will stop me from worrying about getting pregnant, and catching any diseases.  No worries about having to practice safe life. 

Death will end my relationship with my two-headed octopus.  I was looking for an excuse to end it ever since our relationship went fishy.  

I will make more money by dying since the minimum wage is higher in the afterlife.

Death means paying no mortgage or rent.  Never in the history of hauntings has a ghost paid a mortgage or rent.

After death I can ride public transit free.

Death offers a better weather than life because the dead don't care what the weather does.

And finally, death means a free subscription to My Life in Review—a magazine all about me.

BESTSELLERS AMONGST . . .

The following books are bestsellers, but only amongst the groups mentioned.

Bestseller amongst geese:

How To Keep Your Down When Everything Is Going Up  

by Harry Honk 

Amongst viruses:

Fifty Shades of Ebola 

by Diane Diagnose

Amongst Ku Klux Klan members:

A Brief History of White 

by Ray Cyst

Amongst brides:

How To Be A Virgin When You Ain't 

by Ida Impure

Amongst trains:

The Tracks of My Tears

by Loco Motif

Amongst ghosts:

Crime and Ectoplasm 

by Fyodor Ghostoyevsky

Amongst suicide bombers:

The Big Bang Theory

by G. Powder

Amongst endings:

Is It Really The End?

by Al L. Finn