IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS . . .

A million dollars . . . Do you know how much that translates to dollars and cents?  (It's 100 million cents, but I don't know whether any of them are common.)

If I had a million dollars . . .

- I would buy a giant petri dish as a second home for the Great Amoeba, Architect of the Universe.

- I would start a school for silent letters so they could learn how to make noise.

- I would adopt a Sistah for the Buddha.

- I would donate thousands and thousands of dollars to the poor, starving corporations and oil companies.

- I would give failure a make over so people aren't afraid of it.

- I would buy bullshit for the government so it would never run out.

- I would make overday bags so overnight bags would have companions.

- I would Just Do It having no idea what It is.

- I would buy extension cords for all the lonely sockets out there.

And finally I would buy some real estate on the Moon, and build a crater to have a large write off at tax time.

IRWIN THE CROSS-EYED AMOEBA

My spirit guide is a cross-eyed amoeba.  When I tell people this they say, "An amoeba does not have eyes." True, amoebas have no eyes while they are on the Earth plane. They are given crossed eyes once they cross over.  Why this happens no one knows.

Usually spirit guides appear as angels, nature spirits, Native Americans or animals.  Never before has a spirit guide appeared this way.  How special to be the first person to have a cross-eyed amoeba as a spirit guide!  I am grateful for Irwin's guidance.

When my cross-eyed spirit guide first appeared to me it said,  "You can double your happiness by looking at things differently."

Irwin before he crossed over.