SOME SAY . . .

Some say that the world is run by an international cabal of bankers.  This can't be true.  The world is open longer than banker's hours.

Some say that flying saucers are real.  I found this true while I was married.

Some say that aliens walk amongst us. Should we tighten our immigration laws?

Some say that God is dead.  But no one can say when he died, where he is buried, or what he left in his will.

Some say that the world is getting warmer.  I keep telling myself this while freezing my gonads off while waiting for a bus on a frigid day.

Some say, "The End is near."  I say, "The End is here."

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

"What does this picture have to do with questions and answers?"
"Who knows?"


"Will public transit have delays in the afterlife?"
"Probably.  Things take an eternity  over there."


"Is it possible to find a higher love?"
"Yes, with a willing partner you can find it on an airplane."


"Are women equal to men?"
"No, women are superior."  


"What are human beings?"
"Everything, including Earth, can get incurable diseases."


"What's the difference between natural health and health?"
"Natural health is natural."


"Why?"
"Because."


"Are flying saucers real?"
"Ask anyone in a stormy marriage."



"When will it all end?"
"Now." 

I DON'T BELIEVE IN FLYING SAUCERS

ON MARRIAGE . . .

"I never believed in flying saucers until I got married."

"Sex was never a problem during our marriage.  My wife said quite often, 'Honey, would you like to have sex?  I need to file my nails.'"

"To make marriage more accurate, why don't brides wear Five-Star General uniforms instead of wedding gowns?"



"I never knew that I had so many faults until I got married."



Words for husbands to make a marriage last?  "Yes dear."



 "Fifty per cent of all marriages are half of all marriages."