WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?

January 6, 2015 already?  Last year this time it was January 6, 2014.  Two years ago it was January 6, 2013.  I think I see a pattern.

How come time goes so fast?  It seems as if it was only yesterday that I was in Grade 3 and being yelled at for picking my nose.  And wasn't it only this morning that I was 35 years old and graduating from high school?  Where does the time go?

Here are some of the reasons time goes so fast:

- Time has the runs;

- Time rushes to try to catch Now becoming Then;

- Time wants to get to McDonald's before the breakfast menu ends;

- Time is trying to shake off its past;

- Time is trying to go back in time to change its past;

- Time is about to give birth;

- Time is late for its appointment with its therapist;

   (Time constantly sees a therapist to deal with the emotional trauma caused by people beating the clock.)

- Time is addicted to methamphetamine;

- Time slept in and is late for Eternity.

These are only a some of the reasons time goes so fast.  Are these reasons true?  Time will tell. 

UNREASONALBLE RULES OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN

Never eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time.  Eat these meals separately over periods of time throughout the day.


No matter how big your mouth is, always use one fork or spoon when eating.


Eat junk food now and again for fun.


Never wear your underwear for more than seven years without changing it.


Always make sure that your pants are down before using toilet paper.


Always read with your eyes open.


Never meditate while sitting on train tracks.


Do not breathe underwater unless drowning is your goal.


Make sure you get a minimum of a million hours of sleep each night after you die.