"Why did the fly cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"It was in a pair of pants worn by a chicken."
A fly walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
"I'll have a beer please," said the fly.
The bartender brings the fly a beer. The fly takes one sip and spits it out.
"This beer tastes like shit!" said the fly.
"I know," said the bartender, "I thought you'd like it."
"I'm glad dogs care," said one fly to another.
"Really? Why is that?" asked the other fly.
And the fly replied, "Because dogs give a shit."
A fly walked into a bar. The bartender swatted it and that was it.
Never eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time. Eat these meals separately over periods of time throughout the day.
No matter how big your mouth is, always use one fork or spoon when eating.
Eat junk food now and again for fun.
Never wear your underwear for more than seven years without changing it.
Always make sure that your pants are down before using toilet paper.
Always read with your eyes open.
Never meditate while sitting on train tracks.
Do not breathe underwater unless drowning is your goal.
Make sure you get a minimum of a million hours of sleep each night after you die.
