THINGS SAID THAT WILL KILL LOVE

"I love the long hair on your arms!"


"Gosh, you have such lovely eyeballs."


 "You, Beloved, are my one and only -- that is, when I'm with you."


"You take my breath away.  When was the last time you had a bath?"


"You are my love!  You are my inspiration!  You are my one and only pain in the ass."

"Please?  I only want you to touch it a bit."

"I cherish you!  I adore you!   Can you bring me another beer?"   

"I'm looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together -- except when we have to go to the bathroom."

"I love you, Emily."

"My name's Elizabeth!"

"Uh-er-uh-your name doesn't matter.  I love YOU!"

"I don't mind working with him, but you've got to do something about his banana breath."

I MUST BE GETTING OLD . . .

I must be getting old.  One of the  highlights of my day is lining a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

I get tired after brushing my hair.

I think about having sex, and then I fall asleep

I go to the bathroom every morning -- and then I get out of bed.

I can remember when Santa Claus was a clean-shaven thin man.

I get excited listening to my hair grow.

I started using makeup from a funeral home.

I get out of breath while reading.

Sometimes I can't find my way home after putting out the garbage.

Occasionally I have to look at my driver's licence when someone asks me my name.

I must be getting old.  My friends keep telling how good I look.  And I keep telling them how good they look.  And  they keep telling  me how good I look.  And I keep telling them how good they look.  And they keep telling me . . .

NO MORE HOLDING MY BREATH!

David Letterman!  You jerk!  You said that you would call.   Everyday I sit by my telephone holding my breath.  No calls.   All you men are the same.  You have your way, and then you never call!

Thanks for the spot on You Tube.