THINGS THAT THINGS SAY

What did the door ask the floor?
"Are you sure you don't swing?" 


What did Nodoff say to Nap?
"You can't judge a bed by its covers."

What did the chair say to Salvador Dali?
"I am not a pipe."

What did Salvador Dali say to the chair?
"Of course not, you melting clock!"


What did the walnut say to the hammer?
"You crack me up!"

What did the hammer say to the nail?
"I didn't know nuts could talk."


What did the book say to the writer?
"Page me."


What did the The say to the End?
"We have to stop meeting like this or else people will start to talk."

EXCUSES FOR NOT ALWAYS GETTING ONLINE TO BLOG . . .

A pipe burst in my laptop and I could not get hold of a plumber.

I got stuck in The Twilight Zone buying and selling "unreal" estate.

I fell into a black hole and then a wormhole, and was almost eaten by a giant robin.

Aliens messed with my memory and . . . I could not get hold of an architect.

The world ended and public transit was slow.

The dog ate my Internet connection.

I lost my aluminum hat which protects me from alien and computer radiation.

I was in Germany eating vegetables.

I helped Sir Onion rescue Lady Hamand Cheese from a fire-breathing sandwich.

Being online interferes with my Procrastinators Anonymous meetings.