It's All About Butter

Butter walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
"I'll have a beer, please," said Butter.
The bartender brought Butter a beer.  Butter drank the beer and started to leave.
"Wait a minute," said the bartender, "haven't you got anything funny to say to make this a joke?"
"No," replied Butter and left.



"Why did Butter cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"Fate."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Butter."

"Butter who?"

"Butter Me Up and I'll promote you."

Butter overheard talking on its cell phone:

"I'm spread kinda thin here, but I still think I can make a sandwich."

Butter's Lament:

"Alas, I have no plural."

"How much butter does it take to change a light bulb?"

"Salted, or unsalted?"

"Yes."

"I don't know.  How much butter does it take to change a light bulb?"

"Lots and lots of butter because butter makes a light bulb slippery."

Religious Fact:

There is no solid butter in Hell.

Is butternut a mental illness?

Is butterfly a slippery zipper?

Butter walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Are you going to say something funny to make this a joke?"

And Butter said, "Something funny to make this a joke.  Happy?  Now give me a beer before this blog ends."

EXCUSES FOR NOT ALWAYS GETTING ONLINE TO BLOG . . .

A pipe burst in my laptop and I could not get hold of a plumber.

I got stuck in The Twilight Zone buying and selling "unreal" estate.

I fell into a black hole and then a wormhole, and was almost eaten by a giant robin.

Aliens messed with my memory and . . . I could not get hold of an architect.

The world ended and public transit was slow.

The dog ate my Internet connection.

I lost my aluminum hat which protects me from alien and computer radiation.

I was in Germany eating vegetables.

I helped Sir Onion rescue Lady Hamand Cheese from a fire-breathing sandwich.

Being online interferes with my Procrastinators Anonymous meetings.