ON ZOMBIES

Do zombies have beds, or do they sleep in their coffins?

Do military zombies march instead of walk?

Beware of zombies selling brains in a basket.  You never know where the basket came from.

 Zombie on phone:  I'm sorry, but I can't come to your brain bake.  I just cut off my head and can't do a thing with it.

Could a zombie be his or her own ancestor?

Jesus turned Lazarus into a zombie, and then Jesus waited until Easter before becoming one himself.

 

THINGS THEY SAID THAT NEVER MADE THE QUOTE BOOKS

"Writer's block?  Is that like a desk for writers?"
                                 - William Shakespeare


"She barely smiles.  Why won't she laugh at my jokes?"
                                 - Leonardo Da Vinci


"An apple a day keeps the doctor away?  I don't think so!"
                                  - Sir Isaac Newton 


"What's wrong with asking questions?"
                                   - Socrates


"How many light bulbs does it take to invent one?"
                                   - Thomas Edison


 "Whenever I want to be bewildered, I read the stuff I've written."
                                   - James Joyce


"I tell lies all the time so one day they will make me President."
                                   - George Washington  


 "I had a dream I got Carl Jung pregnant."
                                   - Sigmund Freud 
  

"March is my favorite month of the year."
                                   - Julius Caesar

                              "What?"

                                  - Ludwig van Beethoven