Showing posts with label funeral directors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funeral directors. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
PERFECT HEALTH AND IMMORTALITY
Imagine if suddenly we never got sick and lived forever. How wonderful that would be--at least for us. Think about the consequences perfect health and immortality would bring.
We have perfect health and never get sick. No need for doctors, nurses, hospitals, drug companies, pharmacists, chiropractors and other health practitioners.
We live forever. No need for funeral directors, body removal services, grave diggers, cemeteries, and other people who make their money from death.
What would all these unemployed people do? They would become experts on being jobless, but could they make money at it?
What about the population? No one dies and more babies are born. If there wasn't birth control, then Earth would become like Toronto's public transit system where people stand on other people's shoulders because all the seats are taken.
As much as doctors, nurses, funeral directors, et al., may show concern, unconsciously they want all of us to get sick and die.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
JOB LAYOFFS
Here are some people we would love to see laid-off:
- Doctors because people are too healthy;
- Funeral Directors for obvious reasons;
- Police because not enough crime; and
- Tow truck drivers because no accidents and car breakdowns.
We now join God in His boss' office . . .
"I'm sorry, God," says God's boss, "but not enough people believe in you for us to continue to keep you on as Ruler of the Universe. We have a generous severance package which includes medical and dental benefits, and career counselling with assistance finding another job. It is such a generous package that we know your lawyer won't want any changes when he or she looks it over."
"I have one request," says God.
"Yes?" asks His boss.
"Can you ask Satan to lend me a lawyer. There aren't any in Heaven."
"Will do."
"Thanks. What will happen to the Universe?" asks God.
"We will close it down."
"But what about the people of Earth?" asks God.
"Don't worry," says God's boss, "they'll be too busy watching television, playing computer games, or reading blogs to notice."
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