ON TERRORISTS AND SUICIDE BOMBERS

Do suicide bombers ever buy lottery tickets?


Q:  When is a terrorist not a terrorist?
A:  When he or she is on your side.


Is marriage a form of terrorism? 


Q:  How can you spot a group of optimistic suicide bombers?
A:  When you see them buying green bananas, and reading copies of Tolstoy's War and Peace.


Q:  Why did the terrorist cross the road?
A:  To bomb a chicken on the other side.


Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:  To get away from the terrorist.


Disappointment is when a suicide bomber dies and goes to Heaven, and is immediately met my 72 wrinkled old nuns.  


Q:  Why won't terrorists go to the moon?
A:  No buildings to bomb.


Terrorists would make their lives so much easier if they simply gave up their beliefs.

 

RANDOM TIDBITS

"It's our goal to get inside someone's head and stay there," said the rocks.

They seemed like nice rocks.  I would have offered them my head, but it is already full of voices, bananas and half a brain.

***

If I take myself with me wherever I go, then how come I am not charged for two seats on an airplane?  

***

WANTED:  Suicide bombers for terrorist organization.  Previous experience an asset, but not necessary.  Excellent starting salary with benefits.  Apply . . . 

***

Whenever I go into a room, I always find myself near a floor, wall, or ceiling.  Is this a coincidence? 

When I go outside, especially during the day, I am surrounded by natural light.  This can't be another coincidence.  It has to be by Intelligent design. 

***

Why would people be flattered to have the wing of a hospital named after them?  Hospitals are where people are sick and die.

Some may say, "But people get well in hospitals, too."

This is true, but when you hear that a loved one is in the hospital, your first thought isn't, "Oh wonderful!  He or she must be getting better."

***

"Are you sure that there is no room for us in your head?" asked the rocks.  "You seem like such a nice guy."

"Thank you,"  I said.  "Yes, I am sure.  There would be room if the voices in my head moved out, but that's not likely to happen.  The voices signed a lifetime lease, and they're not about to break it.  Good luck at finding some head."