IT'S ABOUT TIME

On Sunday November 6, 2016a.m., at 2:00 a.m., we set our clocks back one hour going from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time.  Did anyone tell Mother Nature so she can adjust her clocks?



"Spring forward.  Fall back."
"What about Summer and Winter?"
"They're watching Spring and Fall doing gymnastics."

  

"Daddy," said the child clock, "how long before we get to Standard Time?"

And the daddy clock replied, "It will take us about an hour." 

"Hey Clock, how come it didn't take you long to read War and Peace?" 

And Clock replied, "Oh, I have lots of time on my hands."

A mother sees her child rubbing a watch on his scraped knee.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"I'm making my booboo better," says the child.  "I heard that time heals all wounds."

If time flies, then how come it has never crashed into airplanes?

"I promise to love you until the end of time.  After that I'm gonna find someone else."

ON TERRORISTS AND SUICIDE BOMBERS

Do suicide bombers ever buy lottery tickets?


Q:  When is a terrorist not a terrorist?
A:  When he or she is on your side.


Is marriage a form of terrorism? 


Q:  How can you spot a group of optimistic suicide bombers?
A:  When you see them buying green bananas, and reading copies of Tolstoy's War and Peace.


Q:  Why did the terrorist cross the road?
A:  To bomb a chicken on the other side.


Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:  To get away from the terrorist.


Disappointment is when a suicide bomber dies and goes to Heaven, and is immediately met my 72 wrinkled old nuns.  


Q:  Why won't terrorists go to the moon?
A:  No buildings to bomb.


Terrorists would make their lives so much easier if they simply gave up their beliefs.