Do suicide bombers ever buy lottery tickets?
Q: When is a terrorist not a terrorist?
A: When he or she is on your side.
Is marriage a form of terrorism?
Q: How can you spot a group of optimistic suicide bombers?
A: When you see them buying green bananas, and reading copies of Tolstoy's War and Peace.
Q: Why did the terrorist cross the road?
A: To bomb a chicken on the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the terrorist.
Disappointment is when a suicide bomber dies and goes to Heaven, and is immediately met my 72 wrinkled old nuns.
Q: Why won't terrorists go to the moon?
A: No buildings to bomb.
Terrorists would make their lives so much easier if they simply gave up their beliefs.
On Friday May 23, I prayed to the ceiling to win some miracle money. http://funnybonetechnician.blogspot.ca/2014/05/jesus-zeus-and-ceiling.html
Today the ceiling looked down upon me and spoke.
"High," said the ceiling.
"I didn't win," I said.
"Sorry, but I'm great at meeting with walls and watching over floors. Answering prayers is something I need to work on. Perhaps I will come up with ways to improve answering prayers if I think outside the room."
"Good Luck," I said
I think I will do what my friend Archibald McSilly did. Instead of buying lottery tickets, he took the money he would have spent on tickets and put it in the bank. After a year he had over four hundred dollars saved. He then withdrew this money from the bank, and wasted it on something else.
