Not All About Philosophical Questions

"Why did the philosophical question cross the road?"
"Why?"
"Good question."


 "How many philosophical questions does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"Just one, but does the light bulb need to be changed?"
"If it's burnt out, then yes."
"Is it burnt out?  How can you know for sure that it is burnt out?"
"It doesn't work.  You flick the switch and the light does not come on?"
"But how do you know it's the light bulb?  Maybe the electrical switch is broken.  Maybe the power is out.  Maybe---"
"Can we move on to the next joke?  You're making my head hurt."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"A surreal philosophical question."

"A surreal philosophical question who?"

"Yes."

Should I choose to believe in free will?

What is a black hole's favorite color?

How long do philosophers sit and think when they are making caca?

Will free will always be free, or will The Universe try to make it more efficient by privatizing it?

 Will two wrongs ever make a left?

Does a thought know that it is only a thought that someone is thinking?

Who was it that said, "First, do no farm?"  And what did he or she mean by doing no farm?  Not becoming Old MacDonald?

Does the Golden Rule cost the same regardless of the economic conditions?

How can there be life after death when death is the end of life?  If there is life after death, then there can't be death and life just goes on and on and on like some people talking.

Is there life after this blog?  

ON DEATH

Does Death have a degree in philosophy?  What about religion?  Which religion is Death?



Death walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Oh no!"
"Don't worry," says Death, "I'm not here for you."
"Then why are you here?" asks the bartender.
"A drink.  I came in here for a drink."
"What would you like?  Whatever you want is on the house."
"Why thank you," says Death.  "I'll have a-"
But the joke suddenly died.  That's okay.  It wasn't funny anyway.

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?

"Death."

"Death who?"

"That's an odd way to sneeze."

Does Death ever get tired of being punishment?

"How many deaths does it take it take to change a light bulb?"

"I don't know.  How many?"

"342."

"Why so many?"

"Don't know.  Everyone is afraid to ask."

"What is Death's favorite color?"

"I don't know.  What is Death's favorite color?"

"Bleak."

"Why did Death cross the road?"

"I don't know.  Why did Death cross the road?"

"To get to The End."

SOME PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS

Do I exist, or am I only a voice in my head?



If God exists:
- Why is there evil in the world?
- Why does he allow people to suffer?
- Why doesn't he tell us where to shop for good deals?



What is the life of meaning?   How long will meaning last?



Will I be sick when I die?  Is there any sense in dying while healthy?



Is it possible to pronounce ethical ethnics ten times perfectly?



Is Freedom a place where things don't cost anything?



Why are some people happy when depressed?



What is the meaning of The End?

SOME COURSES AT VOID CITY COLLEGE

I have always wanted to study philosophy.  Void City College, in Nowhere, offers the following courses:

The Philosophy of Gardening

Students learn about the meaning of flowers in this dirt-cheap course.

The Wisdom Teeth Lectures

Dr. Dennis Dental discusses the ethics of whiter teeth, and the values of pain from root canal.  Dr. Dental also answers the question, "How wise are wisdom teeth?"

Immanuel Kant's Mathematics and Mortgages

Students learn how Kant's Philosophy of Mathematics relates to mortgages.

(It doesn't, but don't tell anyone.)

Philosophical Concepts of Income Tax
Dr. Allen Fittle Von Fickelfop uses the Socratic Method combined with Marx's Theory of Alienation to teach students how to morally cheat on their taxes.  (Students must sign a waiver absolving the College of all responsibility should they be arrested.)

I will pass on taking these courses.  I have no interest in gardening, teeth, mathematics, or cheating the government out of money.