ON DAYS

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?

"Day."

"Day who?"

"Day Thurs--or something like that."

"Why did the day cross the road?"

"I don't know.  Why?"

"To be everywhere.  Days have to be everywhere for the world to work."

"How many days does it take to change a light bulb?"

"I don't know."

"Just one day, but even that is too long.  A light bulb can be changed in less than 5 minutes."

JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!

"What's that jumping all over the place?"

"Oh, that's Leap Day."

SWOOSH!

"What was that?"

"That was a day."

"Gee, they go by fast." 

A day walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Weren't you here already?"

And the day said, "Yes, I'm here all day."

"What will it be?" asked the bartender.

And the day said, "I'll have a Good Evening, please."

"I'm sorry," said the bartender, "but we're out of Good Evenings.  We have lots of Good Nights."

"Okay," said the day, "I'll have a Good night."

SOME MUSINGS DURING MY ESCAPE . . .

Am I responsible for these words?



Does night work at all during the day?



Is Surrealism Realism after he was knighted?

Should I be grateful that I can appreciate things?



What do condoms use for protection?



Is there something fishy about a vegetarian shark?

Is it safe to be around a maniac playing with knives? 



Am I all here, or is some of me there?



Will we ever run out of The Ends?

 

I AM GRATEFUL

Every time I stop at a stop sign, I am grateful that there are no such things as invisible cars.

I am grateful that a black hole has not swallowed the Earth.  What would we pollute if there was no Earth?
 

I am grateful to our politicians who always show us the difference between lies and lies.

I am grateful that I sleep when I nap.

I am grateful that night follows day.  Can you imagine what life would be like if day followed night?

I am grateful that I am capable of giving thanks for being grateful.

Often, the world is grateful that I run out of ideas.