ON DAYS

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?

"Day."

"Day who?"

"Day Thurs--or something like that."

"Why did the day cross the road?"

"I don't know.  Why?"

"To be everywhere.  Days have to be everywhere for the world to work."

"How many days does it take to change a light bulb?"

"I don't know."

"Just one day, but even that is too long.  A light bulb can be changed in less than 5 minutes."

JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!

"What's that jumping all over the place?"

"Oh, that's Leap Day."

SWOOSH!

"What was that?"

"That was a day."

"Gee, they go by fast." 

A day walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Weren't you here already?"

And the day said, "Yes, I'm here all day."

"What will it be?" asked the bartender.

And the day said, "I'll have a Good Evening, please."

"I'm sorry," said the bartender, "but we're out of Good Evenings.  We have lots of Good Nights."

"Okay," said the day, "I'll have a Good night."