HEALTH TIPS

Get lots of Vitamin OQ.
(Vitamin OQ doesn't exist, but you should still get lots of it because it's good for you.)


Eat food only, and don't snack on the furniture.


Stay away from organic poisons.


See a doctor at least once every 50 years.


Never walk on the sun.


Avoid pain.


Use bricks instead of wood to build a strong immune system.


Plan your meals using food.


Energize yourself by playing with live electrical wires.


Keep breathing.

ON IMMUNE SYSTEMS . . .

An immune system walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"

The immune system says, "I need something to make me stronger."

The bartender says, "I have just what you need."

The bartender goes away and then comes back with plenty of sunshine; exercise; and a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and low in saturated fats.

The immune system looks at what the bartender brought and says, "I'm sorry, but this looks too dull and too much like work.  Have you got a cigarette, and can you bring me some pizza and a beer?"

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Q:  Why did the immune system cross the road?

A:  To protect the road from vampires.

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Human beings exist because Earth's immune system is not working properly.