A SHORT BLOG ON BRIAN WILLIAMS

Brian Williams walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"

"I'll have a rum and coke," says Brian Williams

And the bartender says, "I don't believe you!"

Q:  Why did Brian Williams cross the road?

A:  To lie on the other side.

"Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Brian."

"Brian who?"

"Never mind.  You won't believe me."

Q:  How many Brian Williamses does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Only one, but confirm that the bulb is burnt out before you let him change it.

"You don't believe me?" Brian Williams asks the bartender.

"No," says the bartender, "I don't."

"I'm sorry," says Brian Williams.  "I misremembered  what I wanted.  It's not a rum and coke I want, it's a time machine."

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we're out of time machines.  Come back yesterday and we will have some.

Brian Williams says, "Okay, thanks."  He gets up and leaves the bar walking to his helicopter parked outside.

THINGS I LEARNED AND DID WITH NO INTERNET

A big bad black dragon breathed fire at the server and prevented my access to the Internet for the past several days.  Here are some things I learned and did with no Internet:

I learned that babies are caused by men peeing into women.

I took a ruler and measured up.

I found my mind.

I learned that I am not lazy.  I am a lightworker.

I learned that cats cannot cook or clean.

I took a long walk along the beach that does not exist near me.  (That is where I found my mind.)

I learned that snow does not last long on a hot stove.

I drank a lot of H with my Two O.

I cried over spilt milk and found no use in that.

I did not win 27 trillion dollars.

I learned that Brian Williams would make a good politician.

And finally, I abducted some aliens for no reason.  I will release them as soon as I finish this blog.