The Government

A SELECTION FROM A BOOK OF QUESTIONS . . .

Is it true that doctors fear apples?


Has anyone, with good intentions, ever closed the road to Hell?


Can't beggars be anything they want?


Will boys be boys?


How come we can walk on blood and not water?


Can we be fair in love and war?


Is talk costly?


How come worms that get up early always get caught? 


Is just before dawn the worst time for a power failure?


How do you know that a doornail is dead?


How come people full of piss and vinegar don't feel sick?


How long do I have to wait before I get good things?

HOPE THESE GAGS DON'T MAKE YOU GAG

A bartender walks into a bar and says, "Anybody seen my joke?  I lost it."

Q:  How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  One if the civil servant is not in a union, and 17 if he or she is.

Q:  How many tax auditors does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  One, but the light bulb has to file a tax return first.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

(Sorry, but a zombie ate the rest of this joke.)

"You look terrible!" says one zombie to another. 

"I know," says the other zombie.  "I think it was something I ate."

"Hey funny bone technician!" 

That's me.  "Yes?"

"Have you seen my joke?"

"No, I haven't.

"Well, could you write one for me?  I'm lost without a joke."

"Okay."

Q:  Why did not bartender cross the road?

A:  He was following a chicken who didn't pay its bar bill.

"That's the best you can do?"

"Sorry, but beggars can't be a stitch in time -- or something like that."