DEAR DIARY . . . PART I

Dear Diary . . . 

Today I bought a pair of pants for 50 percent off. It had one leg.

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I am happy because I no longer have a mortgage.  Of course I don't own a house and never had a mortgage, but it's nice to know that I no longer have one.

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I love having a credit card.  What fun it is to spend money I hope to have next year!

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The repairman came to fix my air conditioner today. But the repair did not cost me anything because I don't have a house.

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I got a free estimate today.  I don't know what to do with it.

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My closet came out today.  It said that it was gay. I had suspected all along because it was always too clean. 

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Last night I had a dream that I was Martin Luther King.  I felt free at last and then I woke up.

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I'm in love!  It was love at first sight when I looked in the mirror.  I hope I live happily ever after.

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What a busy day!  I built Rome, but don't know what to do with it.

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Today I thought how I will die one day.  How much of a tip should I leave the undertaker?

FUN WITH NUMBERS AND A DECIMAL POINT

A decimal point and a period walk into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"
The decimal point says, "I'll have a fraction of a beer, please."
"And you?" says the bartender to the period.
"Nothing," says the period.  "I'm at the end of this joke."


Do numbers count on each other?


"I have $100.00 and I spend $100.00.  How much money do I have left?"
"None."
"Wrong.  I still have a credit card."


Zero walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"
And Zero says, "Nothing."
The bartender brings Zero nothing, Zero drinks it and then leaves without paying.  
Another customer sees this and says to the bartender, "You're going to let Zero leave after not paying for a drink of nothing?"
The bartender looks at the customer and says slowly, "Think about what you are asking."


Famous words of Hamlet:  "Two be, or not two be both equal X.  Y is that?"
 


Salvador Dali, the famous mathematician, once asked:

  "If 2 + 2 = 4, then Y is this THE END?"