Dear Diary . . .
Today I bought a pair of pants for 50 percent off. It had one leg.
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I am happy because I no longer have a mortgage. Of course I don't own a house and never had a mortgage, but it's nice to know that I no longer have one.
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I love having a credit card. What fun it is to spend money I hope to have next year!
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The repairman came to fix my air conditioner today. But the repair did not cost me anything because I don't have a house.
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I got a free estimate today. I don't know what to do with it.
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My closet came out today. It said that it was gay. I had suspected all along because it was always too clean.
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Last night I had a dream that I was Martin Luther King. I felt free at last and then I woke up.
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I'm in love! It was love at first sight when I looked in the mirror. I hope I live happily ever after.
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What a busy day! I built Rome, but don't know what to do with it.
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Today I thought how I will die one day. How much of a tip should I leave the undertaker?
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