Showing posts with label rome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rome. Show all posts

Sunday, December 4, 2016

ON EXIT






Exit lived in Rome from 149 BC until 92 BC.  Not much is known about his life other than his mother was a woman and his father was a man.

Exit, whose writings influenced William Shakespeare, once wrote:

"To leave,
Or not to leave?
That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler  
To suffer the bings 
And bangs of boredom,
Or take action and leave
 Ennui in the Sea of Apathy . . ."


"Why did Exit cross the road?"
"He was following a chicken?"
"No, to leave on the other side."



"How many Exits does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know."
"Just one, but make sure Exit changes the light bulb before he leaves."



"Knock. Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Exit."
"Exit who?"
(This joke ended because Exit left.)



Exit walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Why do you bother coming in here?  You order a drink, but leave while I'm making it."
And Exit said, "Okay, this time I won't order.  Duty calls.  Goodbye."



In Rome about 93 BC, a year before he made his final departure, Exit and his friends were at a toga party.  Exit's friends accused him of having delusions of grandeur after he said, "One day, my name will be everywhere."

Monday, October 3, 2016

DEAR DIARY . . . PART I


Dear Diary . . . 

Today I bought a pair of pants for 50 percent off. It had one leg.


*

I am happy because I no longer have a mortgage.  Of course I don't own a house and never had a mortgage, but it's nice to know that I no longer have one.


*

I love having a credit card.  What fun it is to spend money I hope to have next year!


*

The repairman came to fix my air conditioner today. But the repair did not cost me anything because I don't have a house.


*

I got a free estimate today.  I don't know what to do with it.

*

My closet came out today.  It said that it was gay. I had suspected all along because it was always too clean. 

*

Last night I had a dream that I was Martin Luther King.  I felt free at last and then I woke up.

*

I'm in love!  It was love at first sight when I looked in the mirror.  I hope I live happily ever after.

*

What a busy day!  I built Rome, but don't know what to do with it.

*

Today I thought how I will die one day.  How much of a tip should I leave the undertaker?