Bits Of Conversations From Valentine's Day

"I love you, honey."
"Oh yeah?  Well prove it by always putting the toilet seat down."


"Oh, you're so beautiful!  I don't deserve you."
"I know."


"Honey, I love you so much I will do anything for you."
"Anything?"
"Well--er--uh almost anything."


"I loved you yesterday and I love you still, but I'm not sure about tomorrow."


"Can you tell me why you love me?"
"Yes, because you always ask me questions."


"Coming back from space, on Valentine's Day, has made me realize one thing."
"What's that?"
"You're the only black hole for me!"


"You light up my life!"
"Why thank you, sweetheart.  Will you promise never to unplug me?"


"Our love grows bigger and bigger with each passing day."
"What?  Does it have a weight problem?"


"Without you, I'm nothing."
"That's not true.  You're still nothing."


"Our love will never end."
"You're right.  Like you, it goes on and on."

Overheard . . .

"Why did you scream like that?"
"I spilled some milk and I'm tired of crying."


"I don't often get a chance to talk to someone like you."
"Thanks, but I wish you wouldn't."


"Is there something you want to ask me?"
"Yeah, would you mind going to Hell before you die?"


"Did you hear that?  There's a man in the house!"
"Okay, let's charge him rent."


"You had time to call me.  Why didn't you?"
"The dog ate my cell phone."


"I want that woman out of my house!"
"Easy Donald.  Hillary used to live here."


"Am I under arrest?"
"No, you're under the sky, the big blue sky."


"What do you remember about your mother?"
"That she had a bad memory."


"What a thing to say -- and on my birthday!"
"What's wrong with the fire department standing by while you blow out your candles?"


"Well?  What happened?"
"I don't know.  The blog suddenly ended."

OVERHEARD WORDS . . .

"I quit smoking."
"But you don't smoke and never smoked."
"That's why it was so easy to quit."


"My doctor is a metaphysician and gave me a complete checkup."
"What did he say?"
"He said that I am healthy and will live forever."
"Really?"
"Yes, but not necessarily in my present body."


"You look disappointed."
"It's another calendar with all the days in sequential order.  Can't someone invent a calendar where Friday comes right after Sunday?"


"So, how do you like Reality so far?"
"Not bad, but I wouldn't want to live here."
"Why not?"
"I have my unreasons."


"I can't believe he did this to me!"
"What did he do?"
"I can't believe it!  He came over with -- "
(And then a loud truck went by and I could not hear the rest.)


"How nice to see you.  How are you?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I'm not a doctor.  A doctor can tell you how I am."
"You simply can't say that you're fine?"
"What?  And misdiagnose myself?"


"Got any spare change?"
"No.  All the money in my pocket I plan to use.  I keep my spare change in the bank.  But you got money in your hat that you didn't have before.  YOU are the one with spare change!"


"Wanna go out for a beer?"
"No, I can't.  I promised the wife I'd come straight home so she could chew me out for something."


"Look at them," said Sky.
"Oh My God!  They're gorgeous!" said Sun.