THINGS ROBERT BURNS NEVER SAID

Robert Burns  (January 25, 1759 - July 21, 1796) 

In honor of Robbie Burns, the Bard of Ayrshire, here are quotes that Burns never said:

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot

And never thought upon;

Good Riddance!   

The best laid schemes of mice and men

Often involve cheese.

Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands rich.

Critics!  Those cut-throat bandits in the paths of fame.(Oops!  He really did say that.)

Dare to be honest, and get crucified!

Finally, Robert Burns did not make this prediction:

About 145 years after I die, two brothers will be separated when they are young.  They will grow up pursuing separate careers in different countries never knowing that they are related.

Dave Keon

George Harrison

  

HAPPY ROBBIE BURNS DAY! 

MY SHORT ATTENTION SP-

I don't know why my attention span is short.   I am six feet tall and do not like watching golf.  I live near some electrical equipment.  They say some people are sensitive to electrical energy.  I believe I am in line for a promotion at work.  I passed all the promotional exams including the anal probe performed by the aliens during a staff meeting.  The anal probe affected my brain and this is the cause for all the rain.

But rain is good.  It makes things grow -- especially in my closet where no monsters live.  Monsters used to live in my closet when I was younger, but they moved out as I aged the cheese I made.  Homemade cheese tastes better than the potatoes I bought at the gas station.

And what about those gas prices?  They are higher than the flying saucer the aliens brought to the staff meeting.  The aliens promised me a promotion at work if I did not talk about people sensitive to electrical cheese aged in monsters who live in closets.

So that is why my attention span is -- Look!  It's the end of my blog!