All About Irons

"Why didn't the iron cross the road?"
"Why?"
"No extension cord."


"How many irons does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"Just one, but the light bulb has to be wrinkled."

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Iron."

"Iron who?"

"Iron the floor outside your door.  If I leave the building, then Iron on the sidewalk."

"Are you steamed at me?" asked the wrinkle.

"Yes I am," said the iron.  "You better kiss your crease goodbye."

An iron walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
The iron said, "I'll have some wrinkles, please."
"I'm sorry," said the bartender, "but we don't serve wrinkles here."
And the iron said, "No wrinkles?  I don't know what else to say, and that funny bone guy is out of ideas."

ON GETTING OLD

You know you're getting old when reading makes you out of breath.

You know you're getting old when you need to use a walker while having sex.



You know you're getting old when famous people are old enough to be your children.



You know you're getting old when going to the bathroom gives more pleasure than having sex.



"How many old people does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know."
"Just one, but he or she may forget how to do it."



You know you're getting old when you have more wrinkles than hair.



"Why did the old man cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"To forget where he was going on the other side."



You know you're getting old when your parents are older than 347 years.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Old Age."

"Old Age who?"

"Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough."

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE RUSTY FILE CABINET IN THE DUSTY ATTIC OF MY MUSTY MIND . . .

To ensure its passengers had a safe weekend, the Titanic waited until early Monday morning to sink.

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A Father knows best when he keeps his mouth shut and listens to Mother.

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What you won't see with a promotional ad selling Internet connections:
  SIGN UP WITH US AND WE'LL GIVE YOU FREE AGGRAVATION AND FREE BAD SERVICE!

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I wish garbage cans came with instructions.

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Advocacy Groups:    

                             - Golf Clubs Against Hard Balls

                             - Wrinkles Against Irons

                             - Tumors Against Cures for Cancer   

                             - Advocacy Group Against Silly Advocacy Groups

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Do fish use moisturizers?

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Do sleeping bags ever suffer from insomnia?

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DOG SURVIVES  VICIOUS ATTACK BY PACK OF CHILDREN!

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I used to be a metronome, but I got ticked off and quit.

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Would the Titanic have sunk if the iceberg had stopped for the stop sign?

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Each time I stop at a stop sign, I give thanks that there are no such things as invisible cars.