Showing posts with label garbage cans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label garbage cans. Show all posts

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Not All About Garbage Cans


"Why did the garbage can cross the road?"
"Why?"
"It was late and missed the garbage truck on the side it was on.  It thought it would catch the garbage truck on the other side."
"Gosh, that's a lot of words for a punchline."


"How many garbage cans does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"Twelve."
"Twelve?"
"Twelve.  Union rules."


A garbage can walked into a bar and the bartender shouted, "Get out!  It's not garbage day."


"What do you get when you cross a garbage can with a couch?"
"What?"
"Uncomfortable smelly furniture."


"What's the difference between a garbage can and a refrigerator?"
"I dunno."
"I'll never go to your place for dinner."


"What do you get when you cross a garbage can with a restaurant?"
"What?"
"McDonald's."


"What do you get when you cross a garbage can with a rose?"
"What?"
"A stinky plant that you have to put out once a week."


If a garbage can tips over in the forest and no one is there to hear it, then who cleans up the mess?


"What do you get when you crush a garbage can?"
"I dunno."
"A crushed garbage can."


"What do you get when you cross a garbage can with the alphabet?"
"What?"
"This blog."

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE RUSTY FILE CABINET IN THE DUSTY ATTIC OF MY MUSTY MIND . . .



To ensure its passengers had a safe weekend, the Titanic waited until early Monday morning to sink.

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A Father knows best when he keeps his mouth shut and listens to Mother.

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What you won't see with a promotional ad selling Internet connections:
  SIGN UP WITH US AND WE'LL GIVE YOU FREE AGGRAVATION AND FREE BAD SERVICE!

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I wish garbage cans came with instructions.

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Advocacy Groups:    
                             - Golf Clubs Against Hard Balls

                             - Wrinkles Against Irons

                             - Tumors Against Cures for Cancer   

                             - Advocacy Group Against Silly Advocacy Groups

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Do fish use moisturizers?

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Do sleeping bags ever suffer from insomnia?

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DOG SURVIVES  VICIOUS ATTACK BY PACK OF CHILDREN!

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I used to be a metronome, but I got ticked off and quit.

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Would the Titanic have sunk if the iceberg had stopped for the stop sign?

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Each time I stop at a stop sign, I give thanks that there are no such things as invisible cars.