TRY THIS! (BUT NOT AT HOME)

Close your eyes while driving.  See how long you can drive before you have an accident.



Jump off a tall building while tossing a penny.  See whether you or the penny hit the ground first.



Run down the stairs with your shoelaces untied.



Hold your breath for 20 minutes underwater.  Do this daily.  It's better than meditation.



Using only your body, try to stop a truck coming at you at 47 miles per hour.  (Anything faster than 47 mph is too dangerous.)



Explore the inside of a giant shark's mouth.  (You can do this after holding your breath underwater for 20 minutes.)



Walk into a bank brandishing a big gun.  Casually ask, "Are you giving away any money today?"



Practise dying.



Lock yourself in a public washroom and scream, "I'm gonna murder the toilets unless you give into my demands!"



Write a silly blog about destructive behavior.

ADVICE

 As a leading expert on nothing in particular, I can give advice on anything:

        Always store your breast milk at tit temperature.

        Never meditate while holding a loaded gun. 

        Don't judge a judge -- especially when you are in his or her court.

        Change your underwear once a year.

        Believe everything you read and hear.

        It's okay to fear fear.

        Have fun finding rhymes with dear.

        Love yourself, but watch out for sexually transmitted diseases.

      

       Have fun pretending that you are pretending that you are pretending to have fun.   

       Always tell the truth -- except when you have to lie.

       Never attend a dinner party for cannibals.

NOT-SO-FAMOUS QUOTES