Not All About Politicians

"Why did the politician cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To get the chicken vote."



"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"We don't know. The Prime Minister's Task Force on the Changing of Light Bulbs hasn't finished its report."



Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau walked around Ottawa carrying a small cage.  He appeared to be looking for something.  A reporter asked, "Excuse me, Mr. Prime Minister, but what are you doing?"
And Prime Minister Trudeau replied, "I'm looking for a promise I can keep."



A politician walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
"Can you get me a money-sex scandal for my opponents?" said the politician.
And the bartender said, "You guys don't need my help for that.  All of you do so well on your own."

"Knock.  Knock."
"Who's there?"
"A politician."
"A politician who?"
"A politician who is honest and keeps promises."
"Impossible!  You don't exist."
"If I don't exist, then who is knocking on your door?"
"Good question."

"What's the difference between criminals and politicians?"

"I dunno."

"Criminals have to wait until they go to jail before they are funded by taxpayers."

"What do you get when you cross a thief with a politician?
"What?"

"A politician."

"Why don't you see any trees involved in politics?"

"Why?"

"Because trees are stable and upright, and they can't talk."

"I wanna know how many politicians it takes to change a light bulb.  Will the Prime Minister's Task Force on the Changing of Light Bulbs finish its report before this blog ends?"

"Nope."

WALKING INTO BARS

A bartender walks into a bar.  The owner of the bar, who is also the bartender, says, "What's wrong,  don't you have your own joke?"


A Who's-there? walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"
The Who's-there? says, "I'll have a knock knock please."
The bartender says, "A knock knock?"
The Who's-there? says, "Who's there?"
The bartender says, "What's a knock knock?"
The Who's-there? says, "What's-a-knock-knock who?"
"No," says the bartender, "I'm asking what a knock knock is.  I've never heard of that drink."
"Forget it," says the Who's-there?.  "I'm leaving.  You just ruined the joke!"


A naked man walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, didn't you forget something?"
The naked man looks down at himself and then rushes out saying, "You're right,  I forgot my wallet!"


 A politician walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"
The politician smiles and says, "What do most of your customers drink?"
The bartender says, "Beer."
"Then I'll have a beer, please," says the politician.
"What brand of beer?" asks the bartender.
"Uh-er-uh-can I get back to you on that?" asks the politician.  "I want to set up a task force to study the matter further, and then make recommendations."


 A turd walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve shit in here."
"That's not what I heard," says the turd.  "I'll have a pina colada, please."
The bartender thinks for a moment, and then makes a flushing noise.  The turd runs out terrified.


"I said,  What's wrong,  don't you have your own joke?"
"I do," says the bartender, "but I just came in here to get a break.  I've had a rough shift.  I had to deal with a Who's-there? who yelled at me for ruining its joke, a naked man without his wallet, a politician who couldn't order a beer without consulting a task force, and a turd who wanted a pina colada."
"Wow," says the owner-bartender, "that's rough!  At least I don't have to worry about anything like that happening to me."
"Why not?" asks the bartender.
"Because," says the owner-bartender, "I was created just for this blog; so my existence ends when this blog ends."
"Really?" asks the bartender.  "Do you believe in life after blog?"