IN THE BEGINNING . . .

In the beginning there was me.  I was all there was.  I was all there ever would be.  My wonderful, self-centered existence would have continued forever if God had not ruined it.

For unknown reasons, God created the Heavens and the Earth and the rest of the damn Universe.  I was no longer the center of things.  I was not even close to the center, and nothing revolved around me.

God has a habit of hampering things.  You make plans, and everything is going along fine.  Then God creates a universe, or sends something like a flood or an earthquake, and there's a crimp in your plans.

I have been calling God for eons, but God's secretary says that God is always off somewhere creating other universes.  

Other universes?  God creating other universes?  How comforting to know that I am not the only one who is no longer self-centered.

THE SPIRITUAL SAYINGS OF BOOAZ II

Often occurs often in the English language.

Husbands would have less stress if they listened to and obeyed their wives.

If humans search the heavens, they will find intelligent inchworms.

The time has come to clear our collective unconscious of unnecessary ideas.

No French kisses exist in war.

We need to create an award for being the Best Pain In The Ass.

Keep your theater and concert tickets, for they will be worthless one day.

What I say is true when I say it.  (The passage of time may prove otherwise.)

The End is near

The End is here

Long live The End!