It's All About Knock-Knock Jokes

"Why did the knock-knock joke cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To see who was on the other side."



A knock-knock joke walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
And the knock-knock joke said, "Sorry, but the only question I know how to answer is 'Who's there?' "



"How many knock-knock jokes does it take to change a light bulb?"
"Who wants to know?"

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Knock-Knock  Joke."

"Knock-knock Joke who?"

"Knock-knock Joke about a knock-knock joke that's not funny."

"What's the biggest threat to knock-knock jokes?"

"I don't know."

"Doorbells."

If someone tells a knock-knock joke in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, is the joke still funny?

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Apple."

"Apple who?"

"Apple New Year!" 

ON JOKES

A joke walked into a bar, and the bartender started laughing and laughing.



"Why did the joke cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"Because a chicken was telling it."
"Oh yeah?  What was the joke about?"
"I'm not sure since I am just learning chicken, but it had something to do with prostitutes laying eggs."



"How many jokes does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know.  How many?"
"Six hundred and forty-seven."
"What?  Six hundred and forty-seven jokes to change a light bulb?" 
"Yeah, 647 jokes to change a light bulb."
"Why so many?"
"The jokes are in the union."



A joke has a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked another joke.
And the joke replied, "My punchline lost control."

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Joke."

"Joke who?"

"I would hope that you wouldn't want to joke anyone."

The bartender was still laughing.  The joke was not impressed.  Not only has the bartender peed his pants, but his ass fell off.  

"I'm not that funny!" said the joke.

But the bartender kept laughing, and died laughing right there in the bar.  The bartender was deader than Dracula getting a suntan.

The joke left, but later complained to The Bar Association (TBA) about the bartender's behavior and poor service.  TBA fined the bartender, and ordered him never to die laughing again. 

A CHICKEN AND A BAR

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go into a bar.

A chicken walks into a bar, after crossing the road, and the bartender says, "What?  The cross-the-road jokes aren't enough for you?  You have to be in this one?"

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a drink.  The bartender gets the drink for the chicken when an egg sitting at the bar shouts, "Hey!  How come you're serving the chicken?  I was here first!"

A chicken walks into a bar and says, "Give me a vodka and orange juice."
The bartender says, "Don't be silly.  Chickens don't drink."
And the chicken says, "And we don't talk either."

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve chickens here."
And the chicken says, "That's okay.  I don't eat chickens.  I'll have a worm burger and a beer thank you."

A chicken walks into a bar and shows the bartender a picture of Colonel Sanders.  The chicken says, "Have you seen this man?"
The bartender says, "No.  Why?"
The chicken says, "He's wanted for mass murder."

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a drink.  The bartender brings it to him and says, "There is something I've been meaning to ask you."
The chicken says, "Okay.  What?"
The bartender says, "Tell me.  Why did you cross the road?"
The chicken pauses, and then takes a drink.  He looks at the bartender and says, "Because it's there."

A bartender walks into a barnyard.  A chicken runs up to him and says, "Hey!  You're the guy from all the jokes I've been in!" 
The bartender says, "Yup, that's me."
And the chicken says, "What are you doing here?"
And the bartender says, "I needed a change of scenery."

Why did the chicken leave the bar?
To cross the road.