NEW THINGS THAT EXIST ONLY IN THIS BLOG?

If you find any of the below items outside of this blog, then that means that someone else thinks the same as I do.  Great minds think alike?

- Wooden birthday cakes for termites.

- Brain birthday cakes for zombies.

-  Birthday cakes made of nothing for people who want to lose weight.

- Books with pages that turn themselves for educated snakes.

- Peopleless joints for homeless arthritis.

- Grass that cuts itself.

- Bathroom scales for elephants.

- Cracks for butts born without one.  

(Good idea to end with this one.)

ON MY HEALTH . . .

I have never had kidney stones, but the rocks in my head often cause me pain.

Occasionally I get a pain in my neck.  Often I become a pain in the neck.  Sometimes I am a pain in a place lower than the neck.

Arthritis, Bronchitis, Bursitis, and Psoriasis are my Greek friends who never visit me.

Sometimes I hear voices in my head.
"No you don't!"
Yes I do.

I used my hands a lot while I was going through puberty, and suffered from Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.  The desire to use my hands a lot and the Carpel Tunnel Syndrome went away after puberty.

I had Lou Gehrig's Disease, but I gave it back to Lou.  He apologized for giving it to me.   "I'll try to keep it to myself,"  he said.

"While I'm in Bulgaria,"
Said Doctor Kataria.
"I'll take care of ya."
And he cured my Malaria.

I've never had Pneumonia, but I once had Oldmonia.   I took a hot bath and she went away.

Occasionally I cut my finger on my wit.  It's never a deep cut.

Overall I am thankful for my healthy mind, and body.  Occasionally I cut my finger on my wit.