JUSTICE MINISTER PETER MACKAY QUITS GOVERNMENT TO JOIN ISIS
Canadian Justice Minister Peter Mackay announced that he is quitting his cabinet post to join ISIS. MacKay claims he was radicalized under Prime Minister Stephen Harper. MacKay said that he will fight terrorism by joining ISIS.
BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON MAKE LOVE
For the first time in centuries former president Bill Clinton and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had sex. Both said that it was like a new experience. When asked whether they would make love again Hillary said, "Not for a long time. I would not want to get pregnant since the job of president does not offer maternity leave."
SON OF GOD RETURNS
Jesus, the Son of God, returned today much to the surprise of many Christians. But before they could celebrate Jesus said, "Don't get happy. I'm not staying. I only returned to get my wallet with my driver's licence. I forgot it when I left two thousand years ago, and I don't want to the police to give me a ticket."
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