EXCERPTS FROM THE MOON'S DIARY

The following are excerpts from the Moon's diary.  We cannot say how they came into our possession.   For unknown reasons, the Moon never dated its diary entries.

I suspect I will feel better about myself , and have less mood swings, when I get in touch with my inner lunatic.

***

I am going to ask the Man in me to start paying rent.  It's not right that he lives in me rent-free.

***

Galaxy Skin Cream is no good.  I am taking it back for a refund.  It was supposed to make my skin smooth, but I still have large pockmarks.

***

Whew!  I'm full.

***

I wanted to see Venus today, but she could not get out of her orbit.  We've been spending a lot of time together.  She doesn't have a moon.  Perhaps one day I will leave Earth for Venus.

***

Earthlings are good-humored.  They have never complained about me mooning them after all these years.

THE MOON SAID WHAT?

"I don't know what's wrong with me.  I guess I'm going through another phase."

"It's that time of the month, and I feel bloated, full."

"I'm happy most of the time, but every so often I'm blue."

"I'm going to start charging that man rent."    
                                
"Whew!  I love it when they wax my crescent!"

"Moonday is my favorite day."
 
"Wow!  Look at that tide!  Will it go out with me?"
 
"I think I'll start a club for lunatics"

 "Hey Diddle Diddle, there were no cow patties after the cow
jumped over me!"

 "Damn that Neil Armstrong!  He thinks he can walk all over me."

 "I'd love to know what those wolves are howling at."