Graffiti

On a tree on Mars:

Zork Loves Gorgo

On a wall in a washroom at the White House:

Donald Was Here

On the inside of a garbage can:

For A Good Time Call 1 800 BACTERIA

On a wall inside your subconscious mind:

For A Good Time Call Carl Jung . . . 

On a wall of an hallucination:

Which One Of Us Doesn't Exist?

On a wall in a washroom at city hall:

I Have Lots More In Case You Run Out

-Taurus The Bull

On the side of a kitty litter box:

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow . . . 

(Dr. Peter Pussy working on translation)

On the side of a mountain:

I Used To Be A Molehill

On the wall of a washroom in Hell:

Satan Is A Jerk!

He Is Not.

I Am So! 

On the wall of a Funny Bone blog:

Smile

MY NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE

I'm not sure how I died.  The last thing I remember was eating Einstein's Theory of Relativity, and then I blacked out.  I must have choked or something.  I found myself floating through a tunnel.  I saw graffiti on the tunnel's wall:

ATHEIST GO HOME!

MY HEAVEN IS BETTER THAN YOUR HEAVEN

GOD LOVES EVERYTHING EXCEPT SOULS WHO SCRIBBLE ON HIS TUNNEL WALLS

A light at the end of the tunnel grew brighter and brighter.  "If I was as bright as that light,"  I thought, "then I would not have to struggle to come up with blogs."

The tunnel ended.  There I was surrounded by a loving bright white light.  My whole life passed before me.  I felt the consequences of all my actions and thoughts.  I even felt the pain I had caused the spermatozoa that died in the shower when I was a teenager, and again as an adult after I was married. 

Suddenly I was back in my body after I heard a deep loving voice say, "Go back.  Go back.  It is your time, but we don't want you here."