"Honey, you know how I feel about the environment. Well, picking flowers is like cutting down trees."
***
"But I got you flowers last year and they died."
***
"I bought you a bouquet of roses, honest, and the dog ate them."
***
"I was going to get you flowers, but then I thought I better not in case you have hay fever."
***
"But I bought you flowers! You should feel special because you're the only woman in the world to get invisible flowers."
***
"I was going to get you flowers, but I used the money to buy a case of beer . . . C'mon Honey, when was the last time we did something romantic like drinking a case of beer together?"
***
"I was going to get you flowers, but I wasn't sure which flowers matched your broom, cauldron and the wart on your nose."
***
"It's what? Valentine's Day? Oh yeah, it's always a week or so after the Super Bowl."
***
And finally there's the not-so-bright husband who told his wife,"I didn't forget to to buy you flowers. I didn't have enough money after buying flowers for my girlfriend."
